"I've been calling you like you owe me money."
~Danny Hawaii Five-0 1x10
Jeremy: This year a motoring icon is celebrating its fortieth birthday.
James: Richard Hammond?
Jeremy: No, he's thirty eight. Same as he was last year, and the year before. Mind you, it's his birthday next week, isn't it?
James: Oh it is actually, then he'll be thirty eight.
Richard: Yes, alright, funny, funny.
Jeremy: Thirty eight year old Richard Hammond!
Richard: I am! Thank you, very much.
~Top Gear 12x05
Jeremy: Ah, yes. I brought that. Yeah, well, you might— I thought—
Richard: That's an AK-47.
Jeremy: I know. I thought I might need it.
Jeremy: A weekend in a box with James May and I thought, what am I gonna need?
Richard: You're not a practical man, are you?
~Top Gear 8x06
"I did it out of love Marge! Love of not being arrested!"
Carter: Yeah, it's been happening all day. Uh, Jo kissed me, but I didn't put it together.
Stark: Deputy Lupo kissed you and you didn't think there was anything wrong with that?
Carter: Well, I've been working out. I'm looking pretty good.
"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
Danny: What are you doing here?
Steve: Came to ask you a question.
Danny: You did? Well, if it's to the prom, I already have a date, but I'm flattered, thank you.
~Hawaii Five-0 1x08
Steve: Just for the record, if I pulled something like this, you'd be reading me the riot act about proper police procedure.
Danny: No, I'd probably just arrest you.
Steve: Compared to this, hanging a guy off a roof or throwing a guy in a shark cage is pretty tame.
Danny: No, I disagree, I think the shark cage was way worse than this.
Steve: Whatever. You're wrong. I'm just saying to be clear, next time I get a free pass.
~Hawaii Five-0 1x08
Danny: That’s really good… Impressive…. Did you learn that in SEAL school?
Steve: Yes, it's called using the internet. People have been doing it since the early ‘90s. You may of heard of it.
Danny: I wouldn't know, I was still playing Ms. Pac-man.
Steve: Oh yeah?
Steve: Ever make it to the double pretzel level?
Danny: Triple banana, bitch.
~Hawaii Five-0 1x05
"Jesus was not a zombie!"
Carter: (about the blob) I should be able to handle a mindless eating machine.
Allison: (glaring) You looked at me again.
Carter: Oh, no. The- No, no, I was the... you're pretty.
Tess: Ooh, nice save.
Nathan Stark: Of all people to bring out of cryostasis I resurrect another Fargo.
Jack Carter: Yeah, karma's a bitch.
Danny: Hey, just so you know, other guy putting the ball in hoop is a bad thing.
Steve: Danno, shut up, alright.
Danny: Yo, do me a favor, don't call me Danno.
Skeet: How long you two been married?
~Hawaii Five-0 1x04
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